After a few weeks of peaceful slumber, Wisconsin’s not-especially-close loss to Northwestern and subsequent fall from the polls have the football takes rising like zombies from the grave, just in time for All Hallow’s Eve.
Here are this week’s takes. Read on, if you dare…
- Heat Index: A bone-chilling breeze through the graveyard.
- Assessment: This one is corpse-cold, having been written in 2016, the last time Wisconsin was staring down a trip to Evanston. That said, it is spot on—Ryan Field is absolutely built on a badger burial ground.
- Heat Index: Is it … Saaaaaaatan??
- Assessment: We are all wondering the same thing, Jesse. We are all wondering the same thing.
- Heat Index: An unexpected October trip to some beautiful, warm, sandy beach.
- Assessment: Oh, it’s actually a nice one. A take that doesn’t involve firing Paul Chryst and angry mobs with torches chasing Alex Hornibrook and howling and gnashing teeth. Hmmm … this must be where we get lulled into a false sense of security…
- Heat Index: Hot-blooded screaming.
- Assessment: And we’re back. Seems a bit premature to panic pre-Rutgers. Now, post-Rutgers? That may be cause for alarm.
Barstool Wisco thinks Wisconsin is just bad.
- Assessment: Hot take born of the frustrating crucible of Evanston. Heretical, born of ignorance and fear, like the Salem Witch Trials.
Arthur Goldberg destroys us all.
Years of Rose Bowls, New Year’s bowl games, B10 Championships and tremendous success!! All of the sudden Badger Nation has turned into a bunch of whiners..sometimes the cards don’t come your way, but support the program and the seniors who have sacrificed so much for Wisconsin!! https://t.co/1KovHCs2UO
— Arthur Goldberg (@arthur_goldberg) October 27, 2018
- Heat Index: Carrie, when prom’s over.
- Assessment: I agree 100 percent. When Gozer the Gozerian asks me to choose the form of the destroyer, I choose Arthur Goldberg.
Happy Halloween, y’all.